Happy Birthday, Aunt Sarah!

It's my Aunt Sarah's birthday today...she's OLD. At least that's what my Mom says. Here is a video of her trying to teach me to sit like my cousin, Peyton. I'm a wee little bully here, but I was trying. Thanks for loving me, even though I'm a spoiled pup. :)

xo,
Tank

Mean Dog Mommy

Seriously, my Mom keeps posting these photos of me sleeping and she claims that I've spent the last three years sleeping? I beg to differ...I'm fairly certain that I wasn't sleeping while she was dressing me in ridiculous outfits? What is this shit?

This is some purple sparkly shit that she was raving about, while making tutu dresses. I'm a dude - not a princess.

Or what about this? Oh, you think Aunt Sarah's pink unicorn wig looks good on me? How's about I go pee on your laundry?

 

Your sunglasses and scarf on me...oh, so funny!? Let me return the favor by eating them. Does that make you laugh? Didn't think so, Mom!



 



I think she may have sent this out as an Easter card. Pink. Flipping. Bunny. Ears. Super mean, right?

And Christmas-time? Torture, pure torture!

Okay...I may have been sleeping in one instance, but that doesn't give her the right to dress me up! And she wonders why I eat her shoes and pee on her clothes. Sheesh.

Of course, there is one outfit I like. My girlfriend, Lisa, from across the street made me this awesome sweater for winter walking. She even cut out a pee-hole for me. At least she likes me - she even takes me walking while my lame parents are at work.

Thanks, Lisa!!

Fat Dog In A Little Bin...

I shouldn't really call him fat...he's more husky. A husky bulldog - that's rich. The last trip to the vet elicited a "he could stand to lose a few pounds" comment. Apparently 69# and less than a foot tall is a little undesirable. He's short, but he sure is chubby? The funny thing about Tank and his girth, is that he really wants to be in compact spaces. I'm not sure if it's a bully thing and he feels secure...or maybe he doesn't realize that he's that big? He does act like he's a lap dog too...so, maybe?

Here's Tank in the first month we had him...tiny, right. He barely takes up any of the bed. And those wrinkles...do delicious!

Laundry basket...full of clothing. Hold on, let me pee on the laundry, then sleep on it. Yep, he's asleep - sitting up in the laundry basket.

And again...right after a grooming session.

 

Tote full of clothing headed to the basement for storage...hold on, let me pee on this too! Oh, wait...I'm so tired again. 1, 2, 3...out.

Happy Hump Day!

 

Tank Shaming

I get a real kick out of the "dog shaming" photos shared everywhere. Some of them are completely awesome...unless they happen to you, then not so much. Tank does a lot of adorable things, but sometimes they're overshadowed by superbly annoying things. In early puppy-dom, he chewed up two pairs of Danskos, six pairs of heels, and the top of my favorite Anthro boots. The funny thing, is that before Tank, I would've been so irritated by a dog eating my shoes. After Tank, I'm like "oh, shoot...bummer". My family thinks that maybe I might be on "the crack", but apparently Tank can do no wrong. Baloney...if Tanker had a shaming sign, it would look something like this:

No shit...everything. Pillows, dirty laundry, dog beds, blankets, every piece of furniture in the house, on the carpet behind the door, and on top of Mommy while she's sleeping. Yes, that just happened. Here's a "oh, so humble" photo of Tank after he peed on the bed and Mommy had to clean it...and try to dry it out before bedtime. Doesn't he look sorry?

I'm pretty sure I wasn't that mad, mostly just irritated. Especially when he pulls the "hold my hand, I'm sorry" stuff...

As I'm looking through photos of Tanker, I see way too many "oh shit, Tank peed on this" photos. Am I a big, sappy Mom with no discipline? Probably. Hmm...wonder if this is proper training for an actual child?

 

Welcome to Tank's Blog

This is Tank's Mom and I find myself constantly posting photos of Tank (aka Tanker) on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc. I'm certain that I've become "that dog owner" that thinks they have the greatest dog EVER! So...I thought I'd just start Tank his own blog. Maybe I can limit the craziness to this blog? We'll see how that works! We purchased Tank from a breeder in the Mat-Su Valley in 2010. I was anti-animal and my husband has always been pro-animal. Life works in some funny ways and after a few weeks of el husbando discussing the wonders of these dogs - I agreed to an english bulldog,

I was playing in a softball tournament the day Tank was to be picked up (yep, I got to choose a name before we got him). Er...actually Tank chose my husband. He was originally called "Little Heart" because of the shape of the brindle on his bum. He was the only pup that kept sleeping when my husband arrived...then he lazily got up and sauntered over to him. They were instantly in love...and Tank has spent the better part of three years sleeping. :)

Here are a couple snapshots of our first day with the eight week old pup that has changed our lives. See...he couldn't even stay awake then!

Stay tuned for the adventures of Tank...I'm sure you'll be entertained! xo