Goodbye, Tanker...

It is with great sadness that I post this...it's been very quiet on Tank's blog for a few reasons. Back in July, we became concerned for the safety of the hairless human. Tank was starting to nip at her and we were doing a nanny share at our house with another kiddo. We felt that for the safety of both kiddos, we would have to do something with Tank. He was also peeing on every-single-thing that belonged to the hairless human. We think that the combination of adding a hairless human and moving all of us into a new house shortly after, made things uber confusing for him. After much thought and discussion, we called the breeder that sold Tank to us. She was sad to hear that we would no longer be able to give him the same level of care, but she was happy to take him back. She ended up keeping the sweet boy. Last week she called us - devastated - Tank had liver cancer and would have to be put down. We were stunned and so sad that our first "baby" was so sick.

Back in 2010, el husbando talked me into an english bulldog. I wasn't an animal lover, that's for sure. But - he brought home this wrinkled little 8 week old pup that just made you smile. We had just suffered a miscarriage and we were sad... I will always remember my first "baby" that brought me out of that funk and filled our hearts with lots of love. And I will always be grateful that the hairless human loves animals because of her brother, Tank.

RIP Tanker.

xo,
Dee

I'm too sexy for this rug...

Dudes, where have I been? I've been asking myself the same thing! I've been locked up in a new garage - in a new neighborhood, and I'm not sure I like it. My parents just decided to moved one day. What the heck? I was at my friend Zuri's house playing and her Mom drove me home...to a new home. At first I was a little freaked out...were they getting rid of me or maybe I was headed to a doggy spa? When we arrived the first thing I see is that annoying little hairless human, so I figured out that I was going to be stuck with her...forever. She's always up in my face...apparently she thinks I like big, open-mouth kisses? I just like licking the extra food off of her face, but whatever. So, here's what's been happening while my parents have been turning my life upside down.

Sometimes, Aunt Vicki picks me up and takes me to her house to play with my girlfriend, Zuri. And, she lets me ride in her car...it's a jeep, so that's pretty cool. My parents don't take me anywhere since the hairless human came along - they're not very fun anymore. At Zuri's house, we get to play all day long. We get to chase each other around outside and play with toys. Ever since the hairless human came along I get yelled at for playing with toys. Life isn't fair.


Some days, it's not so bad...the hairless human does something cute and Mommy smiles at both of us. Most days the hairless human just climbs me like a spider monkey and I have to sit still.

 Okay, I guess she's not so bad...

Last, but not least! I might be a supermodel (photo courtesy of Alaska Photography & Design)!

Okay, back to sleeping now. I get to go to Aunt Vicki & Zuri's house tonight - and I need my beauty sleep.

-Tank OUT

The Hairless Human is CRAZY!

The hairless human is out of control - she never stops moving and jumping on me. And I'm the one that gets hollered at by my ungrateful parents...life is so hard when you're a sweet, little bully. The hairless human has a non-moving animal that makes really funny sounds...I tried to play with it, but Mom pushed me away. Lame.

Last night my Mom decided it would be fun if the little beast sat on my back. She thought it was hilarious and giggled the whole time...I just had to sit there like I really enjoyed it. Whatever...wankers.

 

Who knows what tonight will bring...maybe they'll let me jump into the bathtub with the hairless human. She stinks worse than I do sometimes...

-Tank OUT

I have a bad feeling...

...about the hairless human. Sure, she's "cute" according to my Mom. But then again, she used to say I was cute too. Look where that got me...stuck in a kennel all day and being groped by the hairless human at night. She's really on the move and as soon as she sees me plop down on the ground, she comes in for the attack. The attack usually involves some pounding and squealing. I think she's excited, but she just squeaks and squawks at me. There's also some head-butting. So uncool.
 

On a happier note, Mom has been taking me for walks every night, but she insists on bringing that giant rolling contraption with the hairless human in it. It's the only time of day she's quiet. It's AWESOME!

 

I'm going back to sleep now...

-Tank OUT

The Hairless Human Strikes Again

The hairless human is walking on all fours like me now...well, almost. She can walk on all fours backward, but she hops like a frog frontward. And now she thinks it's funny to head-butt me and grab my collar tags...you know, those ones that keep bringing me back to these ungrateful parents. Here's a video of her thinking it's really funny.

-Tank OUT

Well, it's official...

...the hairless human is now my permanent sibling. For the last six months I've tried really hard to NOT like her, but it's impossible. She smiles at me, pulls on my ears, and ALWAYS smiles at me. My Mom says we're going to be BFF's...whatever that means. The first time she said it, I thought she meant that I was going to get some beef to eat, but that never happened. Beef sounds good...or maybe some cheese? Speaking of, they've been holding out on the cheese lately. I only get it if I have a bully tremor, which isn't really fun. Sometimes I get peanut butter too...yum, food.

Oh, back to the hairless human. My parents came home today all happy and smiling - apparently it was a big deal. Whatever - if it was such a big deal, why didn't I get to go.

Here's a photo of my handsome mug and the hairless human - I think she's trying to eat my toys. I saw her gnawing on one of my bones the other day. Silly kid. Maybe she'll share her toys one of these days...or food. Yeah, food.

 

-Tank OUT

I'm sexy and I know it

I've been waiting for the opportunity to show off how sexy I am, but my Mom is too busy taking photos of that hairless human. I mean, seriously...my face could be on the cover of a magazine. Check it out, Aunt Sarah took this photo the other day and I'm pretty sure I'm considered a sexy beast. My Mom and the hairless human, not so much.

 

Mom told me I was such a good boy for posing in the photo, then she locked me in the house for six hours. I don't see them locking that little hairless squawker up in the house?! What has happened to my household? I'd like to learn to text like that genius bully of "Texts From Dog", then I could torture my parents ALL DAY LONG.

On another note, does the hairless human look like she wants to eat me? Not cool, I'd better watch my back.

-Tank OUT