The Hairless Human is CRAZY!

The hairless human is out of control - she never stops moving and jumping on me. And I'm the one that gets hollered at by my ungrateful parents...life is so hard when you're a sweet, little bully. The hairless human has a non-moving animal that makes really funny sounds...I tried to play with it, but Mom pushed me away. Lame.

Last night my Mom decided it would be fun if the little beast sat on my back. She thought it was hilarious and giggled the whole time...I just had to sit there like I really enjoyed it. Whatever...wankers.

 

Who knows what tonight will bring...maybe they'll let me jump into the bathtub with the hairless human. She stinks worse than I do sometimes...

-Tank OUT

Second Fiddle

Seriously, my parents kinda suck. Ever since the hairless human arrived, I've been relegated to the backyard, the kennel, the corner, you name it...I've been stuck there. The other day, Mom left me in the backyard when she went to a softball game. Lucky for me, the gate was left open and I tried to flee. But, I only made it a couple blocks before I got tired, and I kind of missed the hairless human. I have to admit, she's really cute and she's always smiling. What is that about?

After my little jaunt, I went back to the house and rested under a rig in the driveway. My Mom was really happy to see me when she got home. I got lots of love that day!

My latest trick is standing by the door politely requesting to go outside to go potty, then I take off...I like it because strangers find me and tell me how cute I am. But then they call my Mom and Dad (apparently they tagged me, so I wouldn't get lost) to come get me. If I was a little faster, I could get further than a block away...  Last night these really nice people found me and told me they were sorry that I was lonely because of my new sister. I was hoping they'd take me home with them, but they called Mom instead. Boo.

I guess she's kind of cute...for a hairless human. Her bum smells delicious sometimes...

I guess I'll just have to wait until the hairless human can chase me around in a few years...that might be fun. Until then, I'll just hang out sunbathing.

-Tank OUT

I'm Going to Be a Big Brother

Dudes, I'm going to be a big brother. My parents are trying to adopt some hairless little humans to bring home. Doesn't that sound ridiculously funny? I almost had a sibling yesterday, but my parents didn't come home with one...so maybe next time. I was kind of pissed that they left me alone - again...so I balled up the rug by the back door so they couldn't get the door open.

Score: Tank - 1 | Humans - 0

At any rate, they're afraid that I'm going to be a jealous little bully...apparently they think I'm spoiled. Say what? But here are some photos of me being super nice to little humans. This is my buddy, Brodie. He says that I'm his #1 BFF. I'm cool with that.

 

My Mom took these photos and she thinks they're soooo cute. Whatever, I'm super manly.

 

 

This is my buddy, Christian...he's Brodie's big brother. Christian has lots of energy and I try to keep up, but my Mom is always slapping me and saying "no jumping!". Whatever...I'm just a pup saying a little hello.
 

 

Here's another photo of me dressed up...with my cousin, Katalina Javelina. You can tell that she's related to my Mom because she has me dressed like a freaking girl. Come on, people!
 

 

Okay, she's kind of sweet...I guess.
 

 

This is Maris, I'm pretty sure she thinks that I'm the cutest thing. 





 

Kamryn totally digs me...how can you resist my delightful face?

 

I'll let you know when my parents bring home a sibling...I'm sure I will be forgotten in the chaos. So, I'll just be over in my pee corner, typing away on my blog. Until then, I'm going to hang out with some more hotties.

-Tank OUT