The Hairless Human is CRAZY!

The hairless human is out of control - she never stops moving and jumping on me. And I'm the one that gets hollered at by my ungrateful parents...life is so hard when you're a sweet, little bully. The hairless human has a non-moving animal that makes really funny sounds...I tried to play with it, but Mom pushed me away. Lame.

Last night my Mom decided it would be fun if the little beast sat on my back. She thought it was hilarious and giggled the whole time...I just had to sit there like I really enjoyed it. Whatever...wankers.

 

Who knows what tonight will bring...maybe they'll let me jump into the bathtub with the hairless human. She stinks worse than I do sometimes...

-Tank OUT

I'm sexy and I know it

I've been waiting for the opportunity to show off how sexy I am, but my Mom is too busy taking photos of that hairless human. I mean, seriously...my face could be on the cover of a magazine. Check it out, Aunt Sarah took this photo the other day and I'm pretty sure I'm considered a sexy beast. My Mom and the hairless human, not so much.

 

Mom told me I was such a good boy for posing in the photo, then she locked me in the house for six hours. I don't see them locking that little hairless squawker up in the house?! What has happened to my household? I'd like to learn to text like that genius bully of "Texts From Dog", then I could torture my parents ALL DAY LONG.

On another note, does the hairless human look like she wants to eat me? Not cool, I'd better watch my back.

-Tank OUT