Second Fiddle

Seriously, my parents kinda suck. Ever since the hairless human arrived, I've been relegated to the backyard, the kennel, the corner, you name it...I've been stuck there. The other day, Mom left me in the backyard when she went to a softball game. Lucky for me, the gate was left open and I tried to flee. But, I only made it a couple blocks before I got tired, and I kind of missed the hairless human. I have to admit, she's really cute and she's always smiling. What is that about?

After my little jaunt, I went back to the house and rested under a rig in the driveway. My Mom was really happy to see me when she got home. I got lots of love that day!

My latest trick is standing by the door politely requesting to go outside to go potty, then I take off...I like it because strangers find me and tell me how cute I am. But then they call my Mom and Dad (apparently they tagged me, so I wouldn't get lost) to come get me. If I was a little faster, I could get further than a block away...  Last night these really nice people found me and told me they were sorry that I was lonely because of my new sister. I was hoping they'd take me home with them, but they called Mom instead. Boo.

I guess she's kind of cute...for a hairless human. Her bum smells delicious sometimes...

I guess I'll just have to wait until the hairless human can chase me around in a few years...that might be fun. Until then, I'll just hang out sunbathing.

-Tank OUT

Aunt Sarah is so mean!

She's like a drill sergeant! My parents took the hairless human to AZ to see Grandma & Grandpa. This is what I'm dealing with.

I was finally getting a good night's sleep because "the truth is" that new baby wakes up all through the night!! Then Aunt Sarah came crashing through the door yelling my name, making me get up from my super soft blanket on my human's couch and made me go on a long walk! What is she crazy?!? Does she really think I want a morning run? Before breakfast even? Geez, I'm not training for an agility training competition! At least my big cousin came along with me. He moves so fast! His legs are a lot longer and he could even jump into a river without drowning. I look up to that big yellow dummy! I was so annoyed with Aunt Sarah for ruining my sleeping in schedule that I pooped as far away as I could from her. That way she had to walk across the snowy field in her bright pink spring shoes. Serves her right for making me workout!! (Insert my evil laugh here) Then just to be a stubborn ass when we came back from our run I went and laid under your car so she couldn't make me come back in the house. Now I'm basking in the sun working on my tan. Hopefully the sun will give me more wrinkles because the chicks dig my wrinkles!

-Tank OUT

Hairless Humans

Well...they did it. My parents brought home a hairless human. Last week, out of the blue, they went away for the night and came back with a little puppy that squeaks and produces relish smelling diapers. I think it's a she, because they keep asking me if I like my little sister. I'm not sure I like having her here though, because I have to sleep on the floor and I don't get to go to the park very often. Lame. I think she's only on loan, so she might not be here forever... I guess I'll protect her while she's here - she's pretty cute and I think she likes to snuggle.

They totally ditched me this week to go take pictures of her...check them out here: http://relicphotographicblog.com/

-Tank OUT

It's Almost Spring!

I can't wait for spring - I'm sick of having frozen paws on our walks. Yesterday, was beautiful outside and Mom thought it was really fun to throw the tennis ball down the street for me. I ran after it, but couldn't stand to pick it up because my flat smooshed gorgeous face would scrape the ice. Ouch. And I'm pretty sure the ladies won't dig a scarface...or would they?

Until I can enjoy time outside, I'll have to resort to window sunbathing.



 

All I'm missing is a mankini. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.

 

-Tank - OUT



Blue Steel

My parents made me pose for some photos tonight and I decided to cooperate. I know that's not really in my nature, but I figured if I was good I would get some treats. Score! This is my "Blue Steel" pose:

 

How do I look? Tough? I'm just being patient until I can eat those little munchkin shoes...they look delicious.

I'm Going to Be a Big Brother

Dudes, I'm going to be a big brother. My parents are trying to adopt some hairless little humans to bring home. Doesn't that sound ridiculously funny? I almost had a sibling yesterday, but my parents didn't come home with one...so maybe next time. I was kind of pissed that they left me alone - again...so I balled up the rug by the back door so they couldn't get the door open.

Score: Tank - 1 | Humans - 0

At any rate, they're afraid that I'm going to be a jealous little bully...apparently they think I'm spoiled. Say what? But here are some photos of me being super nice to little humans. This is my buddy, Brodie. He says that I'm his #1 BFF. I'm cool with that.

 

My Mom took these photos and she thinks they're soooo cute. Whatever, I'm super manly.

 

 

This is my buddy, Christian...he's Brodie's big brother. Christian has lots of energy and I try to keep up, but my Mom is always slapping me and saying "no jumping!". Whatever...I'm just a pup saying a little hello.
 

 

Here's another photo of me dressed up...with my cousin, Katalina Javelina. You can tell that she's related to my Mom because she has me dressed like a freaking girl. Come on, people!
 

 

Okay, she's kind of sweet...I guess.
 

 

This is Maris, I'm pretty sure she thinks that I'm the cutest thing. 





 

Kamryn totally digs me...how can you resist my delightful face?

 

I'll let you know when my parents bring home a sibling...I'm sure I will be forgotten in the chaos. So, I'll just be over in my pee corner, typing away on my blog. Until then, I'm going to hang out with some more hotties.

-Tank OUT

Happy Birthday, Aunt Sarah!

It's my Aunt Sarah's birthday today...she's OLD. At least that's what my Mom says. Here is a video of her trying to teach me to sit like my cousin, Peyton. I'm a wee little bully here, but I was trying. Thanks for loving me, even though I'm a spoiled pup. :)

xo,
Tank